What I am Today and What I am Going To Be Tomorrow With NLP

Neuro Linguistic Programming

Biggest Gratitude To My Mentor

Ramesh Prasad- OneFluencer

So here are five relatively simple THINGS which switched on a light and changed the way I think and act.

– Lakshimi Dhevi

1) The meaning of your communication is the response you get

As a rule when we communicate with someone, and if they don’t respond as we would like, we tend to blame them. We feel they are overreacting, or not listening, which inevitably leads to a negative exchange of feelings. NLP suggests that, no matter what we think we are communicating, if the listener hears something other than the message we intend, then we have not communicated effectively. This leads to the conclusion that we need to take more responsibility for how we communicate to ensure that our message is being heard clearly.

2) The map is not the territory

Perhaps, this is a fancy way of saying to not assume that what you believe about a situation is always true. We build beliefs, or maps, about situations based on our past experience. A useful and time-saving skill, unless you allow the ‘map’ to limit and blind you to other possibilities. NLP suggests that you should use your map as a rough guide.

3) Act as if there is a solution to every problem

Problems arise and we study them. We look at the size of the problem and we worry about the possible consequences of them. In other words, we focus on them. Then we search for a solution and have to make a decision.

4) There is never failure, only feedback

Failure is a debilitating concept. We belittle ourselves and allow perceived failures to diminish us, eating away at our confidence and eroding innovation and the entrepreneurial attitude. We focus on failure and it acts as a full stop. Recognising that a different outcome to the expected one is not a ‘failure’ but an opportunity to explore the process and discover why the outcome was different. As a result, improving future efforts transforms the outcome into a different form of success.

Finally!! 5- You are in charge of your mind and therefore your life.

Search Of True Happiness


People spend hours, days, even years searching for meaning of happiness. What really makes them happy? Is it a new job? A new spouse? A new home? A new car? No matter what you fill in the blank with, the answer will always be no. Happiness is not about who you’re with or where you are or what you have. Can these add to your happiness? Yes they can. Can these things create your happiness? Never.

🌸The dictionary defines happiness as being fortunate, cheerful, lucky, or expressing joy. Apparently it is hard for anyone to define happiness if the dictionary lists it as being lucky.

🌸Happiness is about loving who you are and where you’re at in life. No outside source can give you true happiness. Things can make you happy for a while, but the complete and true emotion of happiness is living the best life possible, knowing that you are an amazing human being So, where do we find this lasting happiness? In the realization of the ultimate nature of ourselves. Everything is here within us. The truth is within us. Happiness is within us. True happiness and peace of mind cannot be found in anything external; it can only be found within. – Sogyal Rinpoche….

What Now?

Be with others who make you smile. …
Hold on to your values.
Accept the good.
Imagine the best.
Do things you love.
Find purpose.
Listen to your heart.
Push yourself, not others.

“Go Inside”

🌸Track gratitude and achievement with a journal.
🌸Start your day with a cup of Tea
🌸Take 30 minutes to go for a walk.
🌸Send a thank you note.
🌸Do your best to enjoy 15 minutes of sunshine.
🌸Work your strengths.
🌸Show some love to someone in your life.
🌸Take time to laugh.
🌸Feeling anxious?Take a trip down memory lane and do some coloring.
🌸Dance around while you do your housework.
🌸Spend some time with a furry friend.
🌸Has something been bothering you?Let it all out on paper.
🌸Relax in a warm bath.

50 Reasons- To Smile More Often

Smiling lowers your heart rate, even in stressful situations.
Smiling improves your mood.
Smiling increases your energy.
Smiling is better than chocolate for making you feel happy. And there’s no calories.
Smiling will make you feel happier.
Smiling decreases stress.
Smiling decreases anxiety.
Smiling decreases tension.
Smiling can boost your immune system.
Smiling makes you look relaxed.
Smiling makes you look sincere.
Smiling makes you look nicer.
Smiling makes you look more competent.
Smiling makes you look friendlier.
Smiling makes you look trustworthy.
Smiling makes you look in control, even when you don’t feel it.
Smiling makes you look confident.
Smiling makes you feel confident, even if you’re faking the smile.
Smiling makes others feel confident (try smiling at a speaker who appears nervous).
Smiling confuses people.
Smiling surprises people.
Smiling improves circulation to your face.
Smiling attracts people to you.
Smiling makes you more attractive. If you’re female.
Smiling is more attractive than make-up.
Smiling helps connect with more people.
Smiling can make others, even strangers, feel less alone.
Smiling helps attention.
Smiling helps you see the bigger picture.
Smiling makes people feel positively towards you.
Smiling makes people glad to see you.
Smiling makes you memorable.
Smiling makes your name more memorable.
Smiling makes you seem familiar.
Smiling can make you a better public speaker.
Smiling makes you sound friendlier on the phone.
Smiling makes you less intimidating.
Smiling helps you appreciate the small things.
Smling makes a better first impression.
Smiling makes you more mysterious (what is he smiling about?)
Smiling might give someone hope.
Smiling might brighten someone’s day
Smiling might break someone out of their bad mood.
Smiles are free
They’re quick
They’re easy
They’re rewarding


The Pursuit Of Long Distance Relationship

“All Love Stories are Beautiful But Ours Is My Favourite”

To Start With…….

Thanks to My Love For Making Me Feel What Love Is All About

Million things in my head, but you still find your way into it, everytime. I feel a thousands emotions daily, so many mood swings. But you, you always find a way to calm down my storm. I am a mess most of the time chaotic and you still adore me . I don’t know what made Us click ten thousand mile apart. I wonder what you find in me, But i know and I know very well that you will always have my heart, always. You took so long to come to me but you came at the right time and we are going to be forever and forever”.

We started our relationship by not even seeing each other in person, Still cant believe it all started with one video call and now going to complete our 100 days of love.

Most Important Life Decision are Taken In Impulse “

As a teenager, I never thought I would end up in a long distance relationship, because I only heard negative things about them. But I’m here to tell you that they are indeed possible, not pursuing someone just because there are some miles in between the two of you.

Distance Is Just A Word

As you might know from another “Spend Quality Time Distance Is Just A Word When Two Hearts are Together” and there are plenty of pros and cons associated with long distance relationships. For some people, the distance isn’t that hard to handle; for others, it’s a forced way of living

But, one thing for sure realized it from my life, if it’s God’s will, it will definitely work.

Those who have undergone and Undergoing a long distance relationship know it takes trust, communication, patience, and a million other things to handle. Commonly there is so much fear and anxiety often connected to just the idea of a long distance relationship, sometimes the Charmness that can shine forth can be missed, and simple ways and means to stay connected and grow may be ignored.

Thumb Rules for a Happier and Healthy Relationship

Communication is Everything

Good communication is integral in every relationship, but it’s taken to a whole new level in long distance relationships. Considering that the majority of your communication isn’t in person, it’s really important to be deliberate and transparent when you talk.

One major misconception is that long distance relationships require constant communication, but actually not What’s vital is the quality of communication, not the quantity.

Enjoy and Cherish Every Little Things

No matter what it can sound silly or crazy but don’t hesitate to express that keeps the relationship more lively and also care of every little things possible

Learn to Verbally express your feelings. When you’re physically next to your partner than you can get away with the whole “actions speak louder than words” so if “I show my partner that I love them and I’m sorry than I don’t actually have to say the words.” This attitude won’t give hands in a long distance relationships. You have to let go of your contentment and tell your partner how you feel or the distance between you will grow,have some flowers delivered, but you must also learn how to communicate your feelings.

Don’t go to Bed With Heavy Heart

Make it a Point- Let It Out and Remind your partner how much they mean to you. Going out of your way to do something special after an argument lets them know that you’ve put the fight behind you and that you want to feel close again. Be creative and think about the things that matter to your partner.

“The distance maybe far and wide but my heart can cover them all. The space between us is so much more but you should know that I love you so!”

As We Do This…

  • Take every effort and make so much memories when You both get a chance to meet so that you can keep recollecting the the memories and cherish it when you both are apart
  • Make a Beautiful Love Letter in any form and present it when you meet
  • Make every conversation clear and transparent
  • Make it Verbal rather Texting
  • Keep pouring love and show each other how you both mean to each other
  • Keep sharing your dreams about the future
  • Often share pictures you both took together
  • Make some special moments like adding new love ingredients in every day conversation.

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” –Trust The Magic

Emotions The Supremacy

You can choose how you feel – Anon

Emotions In Simple:

  • How Do I Feel?
  • How Do I Know?
  • How Do Others Feel? and
  • How Do I Know What Others Feel

Emotions Cannot Be Consciously Controlled

Quote— You can’t control other people, but you can control how you react to them. – Anon.

Note: Ways to Find Out How Do Others Behave

“Most of the Time Emotions are Non Verbal” Start Observing

How do they Behave Majorly includes Body Language Research Says that More than 80 percent of Communication is via Non Verbal

Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.


Home Work: Make Note Of Every Incident briefly That Happens Out Of Emotional Instability and Most Importantly How You Reacted To It

Better Understanding Will Start Blooming and also It can be Done If You Want To Understand Other Persons Emotions Better

To Make a Long Story Short

Quick Positive Efforts For Handling Emotions

1.      Think Before You React Immdetialy
2.      Stand In Other Person Shoes For a Minute
3.      Be Kind To You and Others (Practice)
4.      Distract Yourself ( Even a Bubble Bath, Long Drive, Painting, Nature, Painting)
5.      Don’t Get Into a Negative Thinking
6.      Appreciate Small Things In Life
7.      Be Grateful
8.      Notice all Good Things Around You Keep a Track
9.      Keep Updating Your Strength
10.  Apprectiate Others
11.  Accept People and Things as Such
12.  List Goes On…Keep Adding

Who are Emotional Strong People ???

Are more adaptable to change.

Are able to recognize and express their needs.

They can learn from mistakes and criticism.

Tend to see the larger perspective in a challenging situation and

Most Importantly…,

They Are able to recover more quickly from emotional wounds such as failure or rejection.

Ps: Ask A Question To Yourself


The Secret to Love that Last

The 5 Love Languages ~ the secret to love that lasts By Gary Chapman

“Love is a choice you make everyday”

I was curious, and eventually picked up the book to learn more,although the book is aimed at couples, it had helped me with other interpersonal relationships as well.

  1. We all have different emotional love languages, ways we express and feel love. Rarely do husband and wife speak the same language.
  2. We only truly know our partner’s love for us when he expresses it in our primary love language. If your man understands only Greek, there’s no point in your telling him in French how much you love him. Repeat it as often and loudly as you want, and he still won’t get it.
  3. So the secret is to learn to speak your man’s/ Women’s primary love language.

“We tend to speak our primary love language, and we become confused when our spouse does not understand what we are communicating. We are expressing our love, but the message does not come through because we are speaking what, to them, is a foreign language”

“We must be willing to learn our spouse’s primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love”

5 Beautiful Love Language

Words of affirmation

Words of affirmation are positive words that build people up. Affirming words can include anything from making a remark about how nice someone looks to making a list of a person’s admirable traits.

Compliments go a long way towards making people feel validated and encouraged, “verbal compliments are far greater.

Quality time

Quality time as giving another person your undivided attention, doing something the other person enjoys and having quality conversation with that person. Quality conversation is different from words of affirmation, in that quality conversation indicates that you’re listening to the other person, asking questions and taking an interest in what they’re saying.

Receiving gifts

Another love language is receiving gifts. For some people, gifts are important visual symbols of love. As an example, For example Some people never take their wedding rings off, while others have different opinion and attitude  towards wedding rings.

The gift of self is another element of gift-giving, and is described as the gift of presence, of physically being there when another person needs you.

Acts of service

For others, acts of service (cooking a meal, cleaning, taking out the garbage, paying the bills and so on) demonstrate thoughtfulness, consideration and love. If this is your primary love language, you feel loved when your spouse says “let me do that for you”, and helps to ease your burdens or share your responsibilities e.g. cooking a meal, washing the car. Broken commitments, unwillingness to help, laziness/ sloppiness, or taking your spouse for granted, all send the message that your spouse doesn’t matter.

Physical touch

Physical touch is a primary love language for some people, and if they don’t receive it, they feel unloved. Chapman points out that there are many different forms of physical Physical touch can bring a sense of security and connection to any relationship. If this is your primary love language, you crave shows of care and love through is thoughtful touches, hugs, kisses, pats on the back, and/ or sexual intercourse, sitting closely on the couch, holding hands etc. For those people, physical touch is their emotional lifeline.

To discover your primary love language, ask yourself:

  • What makes you feel most loved by your spouse? What do you desire the most from your spouse?
  • What does your spouse fail to do or say that hurts you deeply or brings you deepest pain?
  • What do you do to express love to your spouse? You tend to do what you wish he/ she would do for you

“Explore The Book 5 Love Languages”

Chapman used many real-life examples from his own marriage, and of couples that he had counselled across the years, to illustrate the concepts in his book and how they can be applied to address different marriage/ relationship issues and circumstances. These are case studies help us to identify similarities and lessons for our own relationships

“True love is not found its built….”